Courtesy
As a martial artist, I have been in the practice for the past 35-ish years of calling people "sir" or "ma'am". It truly becomes a habit. It's as natural to me as breathing. Here in Iowa, referring to people as sir or ma'am isn't as common as it is, say, in Tennessee, or Texas. "Down South", it is a common trait, taught to every child. You address adults as sir or ma'am. In the martial arts, we address people who are senior to us (either in rank or in age) as sir or ma'am. We generally address our colleagues (at least in public) as sir or ma'am, as well.
I've had a couple of bosses along the way that would call me out on this. I would address them as sir or ma'am, and they would tell me that I didn't need to call them that. Granted, for quite a few years, my bosses have generally been younger than me. But it is such an ingrained part of my behavior, I just have a really hard time not responding to a direction from my boss without saying "yes sir" or "yes ma'am." I had one lady who was a tad put out with me because I would always call her ma'am. I had to explain to her that it wasn't meant in any way other than to be ultimately respectful. I really tried hard not to address her as ma'am, but it would still slip out at times. I think by the time I left that job, she had finally come around to the idea that I truly meant it out of courtesy and respect.
It got really confusing when I worked at a regional medical center in Missouri. The person who hired me into that position is a good friend. But she is also one of my former Taekwondo students, and is junior to me in rank. I won't divulge whether she is "senior" to me in age, or not -- mostly because I don't remember. But it was funny at times to see us catch ourselves. She sometimes would call me "Master V", and because she was my boss, I would always call her "ma'am", especially at work and around others. But when she and her husband would come over to the house to hang out with Carrie and I, we were all on a first name basis.
So, what's with this idea...referring to people as sir and ma'am?
Well, as a martial artist, it truly is about developing the habit of respect.
Every person, at every time and in every situation, is worthy of respect.
Wow...pretty broad, bold statement there, Lar. Everybody? All the time? Every situation?
What about the stupid ones? You know...the ones that don't agree with me politically. Or spiritually. Or about whether or not you should eat meat? Or whether or not "fuchsia" is a real color, or something just made up by designers (it's really just "pink").
Yes, I mean all of those people, in all of those situations. What leads me to make such a broad statement? Because all are created by the same God. And God doesn't make "junk". Sure, people can be a pain. They can be rude, selfish, mean-spirited, and sometimes downright evil. But those are their ACTIONS. Those aren't the person.
I know...that can be confusing. It took me a lot of years to separate people from their actions, and figure out that I can care for the person, while completing abhoring their actions.
So I continue to say "sir" and "ma'am" to people. Everywhere. Grocery store, walmart, work, church...wherever. If for no other reason than the fact that it reminds me, multiple times a day, that every person in every place and in every situation, is deserving of respect. And I can demonstrate that respect by being courteous.
My two cents worth today.
I've had a couple of bosses along the way that would call me out on this. I would address them as sir or ma'am, and they would tell me that I didn't need to call them that. Granted, for quite a few years, my bosses have generally been younger than me. But it is such an ingrained part of my behavior, I just have a really hard time not responding to a direction from my boss without saying "yes sir" or "yes ma'am." I had one lady who was a tad put out with me because I would always call her ma'am. I had to explain to her that it wasn't meant in any way other than to be ultimately respectful. I really tried hard not to address her as ma'am, but it would still slip out at times. I think by the time I left that job, she had finally come around to the idea that I truly meant it out of courtesy and respect.
It got really confusing when I worked at a regional medical center in Missouri. The person who hired me into that position is a good friend. But she is also one of my former Taekwondo students, and is junior to me in rank. I won't divulge whether she is "senior" to me in age, or not -- mostly because I don't remember. But it was funny at times to see us catch ourselves. She sometimes would call me "Master V", and because she was my boss, I would always call her "ma'am", especially at work and around others. But when she and her husband would come over to the house to hang out with Carrie and I, we were all on a first name basis.
So, what's with this idea...referring to people as sir and ma'am?
Well, as a martial artist, it truly is about developing the habit of respect.
Every person, at every time and in every situation, is worthy of respect.
Wow...pretty broad, bold statement there, Lar. Everybody? All the time? Every situation?
What about the stupid ones? You know...the ones that don't agree with me politically. Or spiritually. Or about whether or not you should eat meat? Or whether or not "fuchsia" is a real color, or something just made up by designers (it's really just "pink").
Yes, I mean all of those people, in all of those situations. What leads me to make such a broad statement? Because all are created by the same God. And God doesn't make "junk". Sure, people can be a pain. They can be rude, selfish, mean-spirited, and sometimes downright evil. But those are their ACTIONS. Those aren't the person.
I know...that can be confusing. It took me a lot of years to separate people from their actions, and figure out that I can care for the person, while completing abhoring their actions.
So I continue to say "sir" and "ma'am" to people. Everywhere. Grocery store, walmart, work, church...wherever. If for no other reason than the fact that it reminds me, multiple times a day, that every person in every place and in every situation, is deserving of respect. And I can demonstrate that respect by being courteous.
My two cents worth today.
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