Conversations are like playing tennis. Sort of.
Ah, the Art of Conversation. Chit-chat. Give and take. Shoot the breeze. One person talks, the other listens, then they trade. It's a lot like playing tennis. You hit the ball, the other person hits it back, and if you're both relatively evenly matched, you volley back and forth, and just enjoy the game.
Unless one person is determined to win. Then they shoot for the lines, do the high lob, rush the net, play to your (weak) backhand...all the while trying to get you to miss, so they can score a point.
You've never had conversations like that, have you? A conversation that starts out innocently enough, and then in short order you find yourself backpedaling, trying to recover, completely flustered and wondering where this uncalled-for onslaught originated.
Do you ever have that one or two people that you see them coming up, and you just suspect they are going to start trouble simply by opening their mouth? You know the ones...they pretend to be innocently asking a question, but they're really trying to bait you into saying something they can (and will) use against you the moment your back is turned. Or they ask those questions to which there really is no "good" answer. "Hi there! So, have you stopped beating your dog yet?" Or, "Hey, how is your uncle doing reintegrating into society after 20 years in the penitentiary?" Or when they ask you extremely personal questions about things you were pretty certain no one was privy to, and you'd just as soon keep it that way.
Do we still have to play tennis with those people? Many of us think we do. We think it's polite to respond, even if we really don't want to. We feel we have to defend ourselves, or try and set the record straight, or help them see our point of view.
Let me share a newsflash with you...those type of people don't give a rat's rear end about your point of view. They only want to see you squirm. You see, they have such a low opinion of themselves, they figure the only way they can lift themselves up is by trying to tear down others.
Well, I have a solution for dealing with these type of people. No...you probably shouldn't give 'em the back of your hand. I know...it's tempting at times, but that sort of thing is usually frowned on in polite society.
My solution is to still think of the conversation like playing tennis. They hit the ball..
If they're particularly stupid, they'll try to hit another ball..
Bottom line, if you don't hit the ball back...there is no "game".
When Mr. or Ms. Rude Person comes up to you and starts with this sort of conversation, my solution is to simply...say nothing. Stand there and give them a blank stare. Maybe tilt your head to the side a little bit...you know...like a dog that hears a strange sound. Maybe raise one eyebrow a tad. Look puzzled. But say NOTHING. If they persist...walk away.
Proverbs 26:4: "Do not answer a fool according to his folly, or you yourself will be just like him."
Or, as Mark Twain is credited with saying, "Never argue with a fool; onlookers may not be able to tell the difference."
With people like that, you simply can't "win", you can't convince them of your side of an issue, and as I said before, they're only interested in making you look bad, and themselves feel better.
I'm reminded of what someone once told me about buying a car. The salesman makes his pitch, you make your offer, and then....the first one to talk loses.
Conversations are like playing tennis. But just like any other game...you don't have to play if you don't want to.
My two cents worth today.
Unless one person is determined to win. Then they shoot for the lines, do the high lob, rush the net, play to your (weak) backhand...all the while trying to get you to miss, so they can score a point.
You've never had conversations like that, have you? A conversation that starts out innocently enough, and then in short order you find yourself backpedaling, trying to recover, completely flustered and wondering where this uncalled-for onslaught originated.
Do you ever have that one or two people that you see them coming up, and you just suspect they are going to start trouble simply by opening their mouth? You know the ones...they pretend to be innocently asking a question, but they're really trying to bait you into saying something they can (and will) use against you the moment your back is turned. Or they ask those questions to which there really is no "good" answer. "Hi there! So, have you stopped beating your dog yet?" Or, "Hey, how is your uncle doing reintegrating into society after 20 years in the penitentiary?" Or when they ask you extremely personal questions about things you were pretty certain no one was privy to, and you'd just as soon keep it that way.
Do we still have to play tennis with those people? Many of us think we do. We think it's polite to respond, even if we really don't want to. We feel we have to defend ourselves, or try and set the record straight, or help them see our point of view.
Let me share a newsflash with you...those type of people don't give a rat's rear end about your point of view. They only want to see you squirm. You see, they have such a low opinion of themselves, they figure the only way they can lift themselves up is by trying to tear down others.
Well, I have a solution for dealing with these type of people. No...you probably shouldn't give 'em the back of your hand. I know...it's tempting at times, but that sort of thing is usually frowned on in polite society.
My solution is to still think of the conversation like playing tennis. They hit the ball.
If they're particularly stupid, they'll try to hit another ball.
Bottom line, if you don't hit the ball back...there is no "game".
When Mr. or Ms. Rude Person comes up to you and starts with this sort of conversation, my solution is to simply...say nothing. Stand there and give them a blank stare. Maybe tilt your head to the side a little bit...you know...like a dog that hears a strange sound. Maybe raise one eyebrow a tad. Look puzzled. But say NOTHING. If they persist...walk away.
Proverbs 26:4: "Do not answer a fool according to his folly, or you yourself will be just like him."
Or, as Mark Twain is credited with saying, "Never argue with a fool; onlookers may not be able to tell the difference."
With people like that, you simply can't "win", you can't convince them of your side of an issue, and as I said before, they're only interested in making you look bad, and themselves feel better.
I'm reminded of what someone once told me about buying a car. The salesman makes his pitch, you make your offer, and then....the first one to talk loses.
Conversations are like playing tennis. But just like any other game...you don't have to play if you don't want to.
My two cents worth today.
Comments